Recruitment agencies – Angels sent from the gods to make your dreams come true? Or about as useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest?
I’m sure anyone who’s had even one go on the recruitment agency merry-go-round will probably choose ‘B thanks Eddie’ (sorry, you gotta be a skip to understand that one). I’ve had one interview so far in 2 months of searching and for some reason that agent has gone all Helen Keller on me. He won’t answer my calls or emails. How immature is that? Was he not told that part of his job is to tell people they didn’t get it? I’m not gonna cry. Geez.
Oh, wait. Before I start my proper tirade, let me show you a picture. Check this out.
Can you see that? The mist over the water? Here, I’ll go closer.
How spooky’s that? It’s called the Haar, the Scottish sea mist. Behind me, as you can see in the pic above, it’s a sunny, mid-twenties day. Crazy. Apparently later on (Autumn/Winter??) they roll all the way into town, giving the whole of Edinburgh a truly Dickensian feel. I can’t wait for that, although I’m not too excited about the potential frizz ball my hair will be from walking through mists all day. Still, I could wear a flowing robe and carry around a big sword and pretend I’m in Avalon. For example.
But back to being pissed off…
I found a good one. Imagine that. She’s the first recruiter who’s actually taken the time to really sit down with me and go through my CV, figure out what my skills are and actually look outside the bloomin box and acknowledge that skills and experience are transposable, that you don’t have to have experience in every single point on the stupid job description in exactly the same industry, that guess what – some people can learn new shit.
It might sound obvious, but I swear, this is the biggest wall I’ve come up against in my job search. If you’ve got the gift of the gab and manage to convince the agent to send your CV off to the employer for a job that’s not specifically what you’ve spent the last decade doing, most times they won’t want to see you either, because they too are stuck in that damned box.
Why can’t people see this? Or why can’t we have some kind of tattoo system. Fuck all this LinkedIn crap, endorsements/followers/friends we need now to prove we’re employable or popular or human. Why can’t the government tattoo us all with “good worker”, “layabout”, “that one person everyone in the office hates” or “will sleep my way to the top”? That would make recruitment so much easier. All we’d have to do is flash our tats, or out tits if we’re in that last category.
I moved to the UK to wake myself up, to scare the shit out of myself and to see what I was really capable of. Apart from figuring out I’m pretty good at being unemployed, I’ve had the chance to do little stints in all kinds of businesses and I figured out that I’m really quite adaptable. Throw me in the deep end and I won’t just float, I’ll do some bloody synchronised swimming for you.
Sorry. Can you tell I’m a bit frustrated? I’ve got my swear on a bit today haven’t I, gone all Australian on you all? I think people are just too busy. Or too lazy. Nobody wants to have to train anyone, to invest any time in them. We want them to just walk in and start working so we can just get on with our own super duper very important work don’t we? Well, thank you new recruitment lady. You’re one of a kind. And you’ve landed me an interview today in the kind of role which is slightly different from what I’ve been doing but exactly where I’d like to now steer my… cough… career. I think.
So cross your fingers, toes and your eyes for me Blogosphere. Now that I’ve put it out in the universe, maybe the universe will take pity on me, if only to make me stop swearing at it.